Monday, August 08, 2005

We be Humpin Hippos - What a waste of...

[originally posted 2005, May 16]

EVERYTHING: ... of film rolls, of time... and: of 2 ladies who weren't given a worthwhile exposure.

We be Humpin Hippos features Kandee Lopes and Sweet Velvet as the movie's main girls. The cover box shows a full size picture of them, but... BASTARDS! There's no scene in the movie which vaguely resembles that cover shot. SAY WHAT?

So what do we got instead? Four different scenes. #2 and #3 show G/B hardcore, but these girls are skinny, so i won't comment. Scene #1 is gangbang with 3 girls involved (if i counted properly) and most likely the same amount of guys (one being Dick Nasty). 2 of the girls may count as lite plumpers, one being veeerrry busty. The 3rd of them is a real beauty, overall juicy and curvy plus a most beautiful face. Don't know her name unfortunately.

This first scene might look somehow ok.. but in the end it is messed up by the work of the cameraman. No, you can't learn officially how to shoot porn properly. lol But this guy here apparently does landscape shooting most of the time.... Just imagine this: the subject is gangbang, with usually 2 or 3 parallel activities. Now this cameraman would try to catch these activities at the same time (so one third of the room as well).. with the result of a very flat perception.... and then zoom up to the individual stunts every now and then. How clueless and sucky is this?

In scene #4, the last 16 mins of the flick, we got Mrs Lopes and Mrs Velvet, in 3some action with another guy. Whether due to the nature of 3somes or not (i would say yes because i'm not a great fan of them anyway) all 3 participants are all the time closely interleaved into each other. And the camera usually is very close! ... Got it? ..Yep.. just imagine 3 bodies twisted into each other..... Actually i tried to edit out the few moments in which you get a better view on these gorgeous girls. But i've given up.. these rare moments altogether might total in 1 minute of footage! ... This can't be for real.. Two such super hotties in a movie, but you don't get a proper view of them...

Won't withhold this aspect finally: The four chapters are hold together by short in between scenes.. yay.. it's Kandee Lopes and Sweet Velvet sitting on a couch and making the narrators of the flick. Their striped dresses look absolutely hot and cute... a great tease .. but that's it, these scenes only run one minute each.. nice but short glimpses of two great girls only.

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